Monday, April 2, 2007

Sox home opener!

And sadly, I was admitted to the hospital. Although, the Sox were whomped by the Cleveland Indians, so really, maybe I didn't have it so bad after all. Checking in to the hospital is always an adventure. I have certainly seen some interesting people in both the reception room and the lobby. I guess that's natural, considering this is a major hospital in a major city. I know there were certainly a few questionable characters at the BU Med Center, but considering its location in Boston, again, to be expected. So I was admitted and directed to a room. Now, this room is on the same floor and in the same wing as I have become accustomed to. It is, however, on the other side of the hallway. Instead of facing downtown Chicago, I now face... another hospital wing! Complete with beds and curtains and even people. People who wear hospital gowns. People who don't adequately tie the back of said gown. People who walk around their rooms, backs to the window, oblivious of open curtains and aghast onlookers. But as my mom kindly reminded me, "If you can see them, they can see you." So I guess henceforth I will be changing in the bathroom, and no more midday dance breaks. Oh well. Maybe I'll make a window buddy with some lonely across-the-way cancer patient. Probably not. Other than that, my room is huge-normous. (Yes, that's right. I said it.) All the rooms on this side of the wing used to be doubles, but they were recently converted to singles. So there is lots of space, as well as a computer, which I don't really need anyway. But that's cool.

Oh, and also: A while back, I wrote about how one weekend I was hit with a barrage of nurses, one of whom was named Olga. Well, it turned out that Olga lived up to no one's expectations in that she was very pretty, very nice, and Colombian. She was also very well-traveled. But this story isn't about Olga. It is about my nurse for tonight. Her name is Anna. She is slightly rumpled, slightly stocky, and very Eastern European. In essence, she is everything you would expect from an Olga, despite being named Anna. This woman is ridiculous though. She just came in after one sharp, brief knock on my door and said, "Miss Britches, I have your stool-soffener here." To which I replied, rather surprised, "Oh no, I don't need that at all. I'm totally fine down there." Which caused her to reply, "You may be fine now, but this acts in the future for you as well." I said that I absolutely didn't need the pill (because I really don't), and I would much rather not take it, but thank you very much. So she said, "Hokay," took off her yellow gown and tight blue latex gloves, threw out the pill and left, without so much as a by-your-leave. But I know she'll be back every four hours to check my pulse with her iron-grip and to be reassured that "really, I'm fine. But thank you." And that's day One of my hospital stay. I doubt the rest of my days here will top today's excitement, but I'm not making any bets. Anything could happen in this crazy hematology/oncology wing. Oh, I also have a promising update regarding my return to Boston in the fall, but that will have to wait for another day. For now, Peace out. p.s. wish me luck tomorrow as I get an exorbitant and sickening (literally) amount of chemo pumped into me. Woo!!!


kev-kev said...

That's weird. I've always found Olga to be a very unattractive name, but it turns out that Olga WAS attractive. And I guess Anna is a pretty name, especially when it's Seitz's younger sister's last name who I jokingly say I've had sex with multiple times just to make him angry, but she turns out to be a macho Eastern European...hmmmm. That just ain't right. Lemme know if you see any hawt backsides across the way, and good luck with the chemo pumpage tomorrow.

kev-kev said...

i meant Seitz's younger sister's first name, of course her last name is Seitz! LOLZ!
Oh, and don't leave me hangin' with this promising news sheeyat, i wanna know upfront

Megan Amanda Steffen said...

I just read three quarters of that post out loud to Katie because I was amused. I am just imagining you looking out the window and everyone being NEKKID. Awesome.

Also, I second Kevin's motion to reveal optimistic knowledge ahora.

Also also, I think that "stool soffener" should become an everyday term. It can replace "cool" or one of those other outdated words.

"Oh man. That was totally STOOL SOFFENER."

Megan Amanda Steffen said...

Jessica said...

Miss Britches!!!! HAHAha~!, well at least she didn't call you stinky britches....that would be bad. Is Anna an alpine braid-bearing kind of european, or the "too much facial hair" kind?