Haha, but it is all good. I love cookies and chocolate and bread and cheese, so much good cheese. I also love shopping for my family, walking around the malls and boutiques, considering what my little brother might like or find amusing this year, what my mother deserves after another year of putting up with all of our shenanigans, what my dad could use to spruce up our camp in Canada.... And then watching as they open their gifts, their (hopefully, fingers crossed) joy as they slip a finger underneath the tape to reveal that sweet t-shirt or watch or pocket-size multi-tool. Sitting around our living room with a fire going, hot chocolate and coffee, maybe a mimosa or two, everyone together once again; that is Christmas.
Three years ago I was plopped in a hospital bed for Christmas, and that was the only time in my 23 years that I did not spend the day goofing around with my family. They came to the hospital and tried to bring Christmas with them, but it is obviously not the same as actually sitting in that living room in front of the fire and the tree and All of the food. Actually, if I remember correctly, Christmas marked the very beginning of all of my chemo treatments, and I was really not feeling too well that day. Kind of poopy, if you know what I mean...
But now, here I am, once again, on Christmas Eve, sitting at home and laughing at the stupidity and normalcy of my family. I actually had to work earlier today, and as I was sweeping the floor of Starbucks, I had a pretty obvious epiphany. My thought, as another Christmas carol was playing over the speakers, was: "I am so glad I am alive right now." It wasn't brought on by any special moment or event, just the usual mundane life thing. It was a brief thought, but I'm glad it decided to stop into my head.
It is Christmas, and my family is all sorts of awkward and rude and tense, and I love them for it, and I can't imagine not spending these days with them. I wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate. Hopefully you are with people who love you and whom you love as well. And if not, well, there is always cheese... Whatever you need to do, do it so that you can love your life, even just a little bit.
I love you all, and thank you for a wonderful year, and to all a good night! :)