Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Two dinners and Joseph Heller

In one and a half days, I will be signing in at the gastroenterology department of my local hospital ninety minutes before my first-ever colonoscopy.  For the record, this procedure was not on my early-twenties bucket list.  Then again, neither were most of the things that have happened to me over the past three years, so I suppose that really doesn't mean much anymore.  Regardless, tomorrow I will be taking all kinds of crazy laxatives to empty me out.  I guess the doctors need a clear view of whatever it is that they are looking for up there...  I really hope they find something.  I hope their little scopes, as they check me out from both ends, come across the source of 10 months worth of intestinal drama.  Yet I hope they find nothing.  Because who knows what they might find.  Having already had cancer once and a half (facetumor!), cancer is my knee-jerk reaction to anything wrong with my body.  Although if they do find nothing, then we're back to square one, so I hope they find something.  My rational mind, though, is fully aware that it is Highly Unlikely this will take the cancer route.  Whatever is going on with my gut may be a latent effect of my cancer and treatment a few years ago, but it is probably a totally different type of illness.

So I won't be at a bar cheering on the Blackhawks tomorrow night because I will be scuttling back and forth between my couch and my bathroom.  Although, beer is a clear liquid, right?  Haha, no, I'm not that dumb.  But I did just eat twice, knowing full well that there will be no solid foods in me for the next 36 hours.  Woooo hoo.

Anyway, I just wanted to quickly update because I'm a little nervous and a lot frustrated about this whole thing.  I hope it all ends soon.  And my apologies for not being a bit more positive.  There really are only so many good things you can say about some random person sticking a flexible, lit microscope up your bum and down your throat looking for what, we're not even sure.  Exactly how I want to spend my Thursday!  In all seriousness though, besides this little snafu, life has been pretty awesome lately.  Things can only keep getting better; this I know for sure.  So hopefully you're enjoying your weeks as well!  Happy Tuesday, sad toad.  Someone loves you in Chicago.  Peace...  and Go Hawks!