Saturday, July 28, 2007

What do you mean, the week is over?

Where did it go? I suppose a better question would be, where did the summer go? I can't believe this is the last weekend of July. I have spent the past two months in and out of the hospital. In those two months, I don't think I have been out of the hospital any longer than maybe ten days. Maybe. I'm going for two weeks this time, but apparently I'm neutropenic again, so there are no guarantees. As long as my intestine doesn't decide to free any more e-coli into my bloodstream...

I have spent this past week sleeping, with a very few notable exceptions. One was my interview on Wednesday, which I am currently transcribing. Another is this morning. I've mentioned before that a family friend of ours is running the Chicago Marathon with Team in Training, helping raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Woo! Anyway, so she invited me to come and meet her running group this morning. I rolled myself out of bed at 6 am and headed to the lakefront to say some vaguely inspiring things to a group of people who had just run between 8 and 12 miles. I think I'm more inspired by them though. They pull themselves out of bed every Saturday morning to run extreme distances, not to mention the running they do during the week, while maintaining families and jobs, all for a very good cause. I mean, not too many people do that. I don't think I'll be here for the actual Marathon, but I sure will be cheering them all on.

Otherwise, there's not much. My arms are covered in large bruises and small cuts from peripheral IVs. My platelets are still pretty low, so none of the old bruises are going away, and new ones keep forming. I think I'll just admit I'm a junkie and get it over with. That's sure what it looks like anyway. I find the bruises somewhat amusing, but mostly they annoy me. Maybe one day I'll be normal again. I hope that day comes soon... I'm starting to get worried. Oh well. Peace out.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Man, am I pooped.

It is not even 9:00 pm, and I am already planning out the best way to get to bed. Because, of course, there's a whole procedure I have to go through before I can actually plop down and sleep. But it varies depending on how tired I am. Tonight, I am tremendously tired, so it's going to be a short lead up to a long sleep.

Today was a busy day for me. It all started when I woke up. The details of my morning, however interesting, I won't write too much about. Suffice it to say that I did some stuff. My afternoon was somewhat more notable. Today I was finally able to do my interview for the profile I was supposed to have written last December. I was supposed to have done the interview last week, but unfortunate circumstances (coughecolicough) dictated otherwise. But I think it went very well. Now I just have to write the paper, which shouldn't be too hard. After that, there was some walking around, which I haven't done in a while, and then I went to group. This doesn't sound like a lot, and I am somewhat disappointed in myself for how tired I am. But I know this past infection seriously zapped my strength. It's super lame.

Finally, my brain isn't functioning too well, so it's possible this post doesn't make much sense. Essentially, I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep. If you are tired, you should sleep also. We can all have a big, happy sleep. And so, Goodnight. E-mail me!!!

Monday, July 23, 2007

If I didn't update for a week, would people start to worry?

Sadly, we won't be finding out today. Much time has passed since my thoughts and wisdom have been put to virtual paper. Many things have happened, not the least of which is the Red Sox defeated the White Sox in a four game series, although they did not sweep it, so Hah. And many questions have, I'm sure, germinated in curious readers' minds. I suppose the most important question that has arisen is, "Where in the world is Caroline?" I have returned to answer this question and more.

I am home. Yay. I got home on Friday, after much discussion and equivocating from my doctors who wanted to keep me until Monday. The main reason they wanted to keep me in the hospital was because I still needed IV antibiotics for another week, and they didn't know if it would be possible to have those given at home. There was also talk of putting another line in me, this time through a vein in my arm. To cut a long and stressful day short, my research nurse finally confirmed I could get the antibiotics at home, starting Saturday. The doctors didn't need to put in another line; I just have a peripheral IV in my arm for the drugs. Incidentally, I am pretty sure I would have had an emotional breakdown if they had tried to insert another piece of plastic tubing in me. Life is so much better without catheters. So I am finally home, the bacteria have been defeated, and all is well again.

I apologize for my disappearance (kind of), but I have barely opened my computer the past four days. The weather has been beautiful outside, and also, I pretty much spent the whole weekend reading Harry Potter. I read the 6th book between Friday and Saturday, and I read the 7th between last night and now-ish. Yes, I'm a nerd. My other excuse is that this past infection drained a lot of the little strength I have, so I really don't feel like moving too much. Honestly, I'm worried about how I'll feel in six weeks, which is when I finish chemo. So much depends on my getting through this last bit. It's like a marathon: your body begs you to stop running after mile 20, but you will it to keep going those last 6.2 miles. So it is with me. I just hope I can stay healthy by sheer will power. We'll see.

Finally: e-mail me! I'd love to hear from everyone who reads this but doesn't want to comment publicly. I'm sure you all have thoughts, so if you'd like to share them, please do. That's Peace.