Saturday, December 23, 2006

Merry Christmas Eve eve!

Currently watching: Home Alone 3. You can call me lame. I'll call me Caroline. Most of the time. Sometimes I just go with "hey you." I realized today that I have been in this hospital for over a week already. It doesn't seem like that long ago (two weeks) I was released from Boston Medical Center and almost immediately went and got myself a wee bit shmanked at a birthday/Christmas party that same night. Three weeks ago, yes I'll admit it, I got fantastically drunk at a party. In retrospect, however, I blame it on the lack of blood in my system. I don't know what this has to do with anything, aside from the fact that bad vodka will always be just that. Don't do it.
In current-spect, I have been blown away by the number of people who have A: heard about my leukemia, and B: are responding with support. I'm not sure what I expected, coming back home like this. Well, I didn't know what to expect. Basically, up to this point in my brief life, I feel like I've experienced three completely separate and random worlds. And they've made me who I am now: Grade school, highschool, and college. Oh, the grade-school years: preschool through 7th grade with essentially the same 30 people. We were all crazy kids. We pretty much all went relatively separate ways in high school too. But I've heard from some of them, and honestly, I was really surprised. I don't know how many of my grade school friends would even recognize me anymore. I'm pretty sure I've changed a lot since 7 years ago, when I left ND. I mean, high school and a year and a half of college will do that to you. I probably wouldn't recognize their 13-year old selves either. But nonetheless, they've brought themselves back into my life. And I am so thankful for the knowing that they still care, despite our teenage years apart. I grew up with those kids, and I love them all and will always hold them in my heart, but I didn't really mature with them. That was high school. Oh, high school. Where would we be without you? Hell, who would I be if I hadn't gone to Culver? And then BU. I mean, really now. I've met so many good friends in Boston. And it's weird because all of a sudden, just because I guess I'm kind of sick or something, all of these people, all of these amazing and intelligent and caring people are letting me know they're still around. So that's what's been on my mind today. And I thank God for them all. I wish that it didn't take random acts of sadness to bring people together, but I hope something good comes of all of this at least. We'll see what happens. As it is, it's beddy-bye time for me. Pax from the world that is my individually ventilated room.

2 comments:

Baps said...

I feel as though you did not comment enough on how fantastically awesome your Culver friends are....Miss you, Mrs. Shoe! hehe, yay for rhyming...But I mean it...we're awesome and you know it...unspoken bond

Megan Amanda Steffen said...

We did not all die tonight.

I just thought I would let you know.

Also, the Christmas light winners were poorly ranked this year. It was discouraging, to say the least. I may write a letter to the editor about it to my local newspaper.

Also also: I was really excited. I totally thought this was going to be a raunchy post about drinking and debauchery, and I must say that I'm a little disappointed, I thought I was going to have to shield my little sister's inquisitive eyes as she leaned over my shoulder--I still did, but without real reason.

Also also also: "Slaughterhouse 5" is one of Andy's favorite books because he says it's how he would write if he had the patience for writing, which I think very nicely sums up a few of the reasons why you probably didn't take to it that well.

Hoo-rah for long comments.