Sunday, March 25, 2007

Okay, so this actually is a funny story.

I went shopping with my mom today. The weather was beautiful outside, and we decided to spend a good portion of the day rifling through overpriced and over-handled product, along with hundreds of other jaded suburbanites. But I digress. So we were in Target, specifically at the shoe section. There were lots of shoes, some notable, others not so much, so I wasn't paying much attention to what was going on around me. I do remember there were background voices, but I wasn't listening to what they were saying. And then, just as I picked up a decent-looking heeled-sandal, I heard, "I bet she shaved her head," followed by, "No, I bet she just has short hair." I put the sandal back on its little rack and turned around. Right behind me, sitting in a red, plastic Target cart, were two small girls, aged roughly five and seven -- parent nowhere in sight. They were both staring right at me, although their discussion stopped when I looked at them. I just started laughing, which in turn caused them to start laughing. I didn't say anything, because really, what would I say to two small children who are considering why I'm wearing a beanie and there's no hair coming out from under it? Sorry guys, you're both wrong; I'm actually on drugs? So I just laughed. And then I walked away. And then I started wondering why two cute little girls would have even noticed my hair situation, much less thought that I shaved my head. And then I remembered the Media and certain recent debacles involving one former pop-star turned rehab junkie. I am, of course, referring to Britney Spears. She is a household name; of course these girls would know who she is. And we all know the Media has exhausted their coverage of Ms. Spears and her last-resort call for attention via head shaving. Which explains why the girls would 1: have noticed my not-hair and 2: not be phased by my apparent decision to shave my head. So, in summation, today's youth are having their innocence and naivete stripped from them by the exorbitant amount of sensationalism in the Media. Nothing is sacred anymore, and everything is fair game for vocal, public discussion, even by seven-year old girls.

Also, I saw the new Barbies in Target. They are disappointingly ugly. Otherwise, I felt great today, and tomorrow, I'm heading downtown. Should be a good time! Peace.


Megan Amanda Steffen said...

In my experience, both Target and K-Mart are Bad Parenting Buffets.

That said, my favorite part of the Britney-shaves-head thing was how fifty different columns and seventy different news anchors all said, "It's the fault of the media circus!" without, of course, realizing the irony of the statement since they were themselves perpetuating the destructive invasive coverage they blamed Britney's baldness on. (Alliteration=ten points.)

But I don't know why those kids talking about your hair makes them not innocent; if anything, it shows that they're more sheltered from the rest of the world and the realities of disease. Obviously, your style is entirely under your control. It is unthinkable to these children that inevitable, life-altering events that they have no control over could strip a person of being able to decide little things, like hair length. And the big things? Those are unimaginable to little kids.

And nothing has been sacred since before Elvis died while pooping. Or at least since facebook went public. (Joke, joke.)

Sorry, this is long and sort of a knee jerk reaction to the phrase "funny story." I guess what I'm trying to say is cheer up, society didn't all of the sudden get bad; society has been bad forever! Hooray!

Caroline said...

I suppose I need to improve my skills, as most of this - well, mostly just the statement about the loss of innocence - was intended to be sarcastic. Hell, I didn't really even know what leukemia was until I got it. I mostly just thought the whole situation was funny. I guess this is what my mom means when she says I need to be more explicit with my writing or it will be misinterpreted. Coo.

kev-kev said...

those new barbies can't be as bad as Bratz...those Paris Hilton-esque dolls little girls are encouraged to buy to perpetuate skanky sluttiness, those toys piss me off

anyway, huzzah for fuzz! you still coming here soon, 'cause i wanna noogie the hell out of it!