Thursday, December 24, 2009

Getting in the Christmas stomach

Wait...  That doesn't sound quite right.  Christmas Spirit?!  No, no, definitely the Christmas stomach.  So many cookies, breads, cheeses, chocolate covered everythings...  I am feeling a wee bit guilty about all of it, especially since I haven't had time to run the past two days, and I won't be running tomorrow either...  So, definitely feeling the Christmas stomach.

Haha, but it is all good.  I love cookies and chocolate and bread and cheese, so much good cheese.  I also love shopping for my family, walking around the malls and boutiques, considering what my little brother might like or find amusing this year, what my mother deserves after another year of putting up with all of our shenanigans, what my dad could use to spruce up our camp in Canada....  And then watching as they open their gifts, their (hopefully, fingers crossed) joy as they slip a finger underneath the tape to reveal that sweet t-shirt or watch or pocket-size multi-tool.  Sitting around our living room with a fire going, hot chocolate and coffee, maybe a mimosa or two, everyone together once again; that is Christmas.

Three years ago I was plopped in a hospital bed for Christmas, and that was the only time in my 23 years that I did not spend the day goofing around with my family.  They came to the hospital and tried to bring Christmas with them, but it is obviously not the same as actually sitting in that living room in front of the fire and the tree and All of the food.  Actually, if I remember correctly, Christmas marked the very beginning of all of my chemo treatments, and I was really not feeling too well that day.  Kind of poopy, if you know what I mean...  

But now, here I am, once again, on Christmas Eve, sitting at home and laughing at the stupidity and normalcy of my family.  I actually had to work earlier today, and as I was sweeping the floor of Starbucks, I had a pretty obvious epiphany.  My thought, as another Christmas carol was playing over the speakers, was: "I am so glad I am alive right now."  It wasn't brought on by any special moment or event, just the usual mundane life thing.  It was a brief thought, but I'm glad it decided to stop into my head.

It is Christmas, and my family is all sorts of awkward and rude and tense, and I love them for it, and I can't imagine not spending these days with them.  I wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate.  Hopefully you are with people who love you and whom you love as well.  And if not, well, there is always cheese...  Whatever you need to do, do it so that you can love your life, even just a little bit.

I love you all, and thank you for a wonderful year, and to all a good night!  :)

7 comments:

Megan/Yuping said...

This is the best post ever. Eat lots and lots of cheese for me; they don't have it here except for the super processed plastic-looking kind. Merry Christmas, and I'll see you in the new year!bo

Cristian Nieva said...

Hahahahaha..... your post was a funny, you're right...!!
Sorry, my name's Cristian, and I was just passing by, but your post is gorgeous! haha..I'm from Argentina, and here, the Christmas Eve is sooo diff from other places.....¬¬...
Ok, I think I'll follow up your blog, ok? Here's mine:
http://www.cristiannieva.blogspot.com it's about me and my life here in Argentina. See ya!

natasha said...

Hi,
I am The editor/writer with Disease.com. I really liked your site and i am interested in building a relationship with your site. We want to spread public awareness. I hope you can help me out. Your site is a very useful resource.

Please email me back with your URl in subject line to take a step ahead. To avoid spam.

Thank you,
Natasha(editor@disease.com)
http://www.disease.com

natasha said...

Hi,
I am The editor/writer with Disease.com. I really liked your site and i am interested in building a relationship with your site. We want to spread public awareness. I hope you can help me out. Your site is a very useful resource.

Please email me back with your URl in subject line to take a step ahead. To avoid spam.

Thank you,
Natasha(editor@disease.com)
http://www.disease.com

ZDENNY said...

Love the Christmas stomach idea :)

A man named Finite awoke and found himself in a sinkhole full of quick sand. He was sinking very slowly and knew that he would meet certain death.

A man came along who had holes in his hands. The man threw Finite a rope and told him to grab it and he would pull him to safety.

Finite looked at the holes in the man's hands and said, “Your not real.” “It is not scientifically possible for a man to live who has holes in his hands.

The man with the holes in his hands looked at the guy a little puzzled and said, “You are in a sinkhole and about to die. Your response to my help is to say I’m not real?”

Finite said, “Well, I like how warm the sand is and I really don’t want to get out. Second, I know I am having an illusion because it is not possible for a man to have holes in his hands and still help me out.” Therefore, morally I like my plight and scientifically, you don’t exist being a mere projection of my mind.

The man with the holes in his hands said, “Listen, I was sent here by my father to help people out so please let me help you! I will take you to my father’s mansion where you can enjoy life for eternity. Obviously, death was not able to hold me in the grave because the holes in my hands are proof that I overcame death. I now have the power to save you so grab the rope!”

Finite put his fingers in the ears and said, “Now I know I am hearing things because there is no such thing as eternal life…Everyone dies so I am going to take my turn and just enjoy this warm sand until the end.”

The man with the holes in his hand said, “If you won’t grab the rope, then I won’t be able to help you…please, please take the rope and I can pull you out. Have faith my friend.”

A few moments later Finite sunk into the quick sand and out of sight. Finite was surprised that he did not die as expected. He just sat there surrounded by sand, unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to talk with his fingers in his ears. Finite tried to comfort himself by thinking, “I would rather stay here for eternity than believe that the man with the holes in His hand could help me. Faith in that mirage is irrational!!

So Finite sat in the quicksand for eternity. Day in and day out for eternity Finite was always thinking about the man with the holes in his hands. He would comfort himself thinking, “It was better to not have faith than to believe something that didn’t make sense.”

The man with the holes in His hands continued to call him for the rest of eternity; however, Finite could not hear his voice because he had plugged his ears.


The Lesson

If you are not with Christ, you will be thinking about Christ for eternity anyway... so have faith.

Caroline said...

oh, the internets. I really don't want to have to privatize this blog or screen comments, so unless I know you or unless you have a comment relevant to either cancer, my story or your own personal survivor story, please stop commenting. Thank you! :)

blair said...

hey, i just started reading your blog again! i'm sure you get this a lot, but you are AWESOME and such an inspiration. :)