Thursday, January 25, 2007

So you know how when it's winter and your nose gets cold? Yeah, me too.

I have lots of exciting news after a not very exciting day. Firstly: I realized last night that the feeling is coming back into my finger tips. It's pretty much completely back in my pinkie and ring finger and is mostly back in the first three. I was happy when I noticed I could feel them. It's reassuring to know that after all this is finished my fingers will be back to normal. The feeling will probably go away again after next week because I'm starting up the second session of chemo. But now I know it's not permanent. So woo hoo. Secondly: my new blood is treating me well. My mom commented this morning that she could tell the difference between my lips and the rest of my face again (meaning I have color). So that's a woo hoo. Thirdly: My doctor called me tonight - before Grey's Anatomy, thank God - to tell me the results of the bone-marrow biopsy. Freaking took them long enough. So she informs me that "they could find no trace of the leukemia in your marrow." Hell Yes. I am in complete remission. For my doctors, this means we can safely go full-speed ahead with the next session of chemo. From here on out, all of the drugs will be to absolutely be sure it's gone and that it doesn't come back. And while I'm wary of starting this next bout, I'm super happy that I'm responding well and that there will be no chemo hold-ups. The sooner I can get this over, well, I guess the sooner it's over. Oh, and Fourthly: my hair is doing this ridiculous hat-hair act. It's sort of like a comb-over with swoop bangs coupled with a wave that exposes the bald spot. I used to make fun of my brother because he fell as a small child and actually does have a bald-spot under his chestnut locks, but this totally trumps his. Although, really, mine has mostly just thinned, not totally balded yet. Meh. Details. But so that's fun. And that was my day (I did other stuff too that would probably bore the readers). Again, I know you wish you were me.

Also: Did you know that stars actually twinkle? It's not a trick of your eyes when you look at them. You can distinguish between stars and planets because planets don't twinkle. I can't remember if it's because of the hydrogen in the stars or their luminosity or what (that's another thing I learned in a class I took, but apparently I really don't retain any information I learn, ever) but it doesn't much matter. I walked outside right after the sun set tonight, and once again, I was blown away by the beauty of the sky. The western horizon was a deep orange with fading shades of pink to purple to navy, directly above me was dark, dark blue, and the east was faintly purpled with Chicago/Wisconsin/Indiana pollution. But I could still see Orion and his belt, as well as the seven sisters above him. I realized the stars keep disappearing from our sky. One day they'll be gone, and no one born then will even know the difference. Weird. And thanks for tuning in to Caroline's Deep Thought of the Day. Check back next week to see what my walkings and whims turn up. et pax de Chicago.

4 comments:

kev-kev said...

glad to hear you're in complete remission but please don't watch grey's anatomy anymore...may i suggest......The Everyday Italian?

J-Glass said...

mmm...astronomy

oh sorry, having flashbacks to last semester. If you really wanna trip yourself out, think about how strange it is that the light you're seeing from those twinkling stars is actually light from billions of years ago. So when you're looking into the night sky, you're essentially looking into the past....

Megan Amanda Steffen said...

Grey's Anatomy is a horrible show. And not just because I can't stand blood even when it's fake. The main character is a despicable, self-destructive mess of a woman.

That said, I just want to say that today I've been thinking about you and your numb fingers because last night when I was sleeping, the hairband that I usually wear around my wrist moved upto around my hand and effectively cut off all circulation to my fingers, which haven't stopped tingling since. As it's now two thirty in the afternoon, I'm wondering if I should be worried about lasting damage or the fact that the line the rubberband left is still visible across my hand. I'm happy to say that I've irrationally concluded after reading your blog that I just must be tingling sympathetically and taking on your ailments. Or something.

Megan Amanda Steffen said...

Hey when are you going to call me and tell me what it was like to speak at your high school?

Bee tee dubs, my codeword is "ghetm" as in "get 'em." Awesome.