Back in the library.

Waiting for something to print. I apologize for not updating more frequently. It's amazing how much more difficult it is to write daily when you actually have things to do. Life certainly is different now that I am not my sitting on a hospital bed with absolutely nothing to do.

An update is in order. A major update. The past two days have been... crazy. I don't know how else to put it. It all started when BU Today ran the profile of me the day before my birthday. I started getting e-mails and messages from completely random people wishing me happy birthday and also telling me how much they liked the interview. There were lots of, "I really admire your courage," quotes, which to me is amazing. I was thinking about this, and I came to the conclusion that anyone else in this situation would have done the same thing. I've just been more vocal with my experiences. Either way. I probably received over 100 e-mails on Monday and Tuesday, both well-wishes and birthday wishes. Two e-mails are worth noting:

The first was from a woman who was forwarded my story from a BU student. She told me she is writing a book about college-age cancer survivors. Specifically, she has interviewed and been in contact with about forty survivors. She has taken their firsthand accounts of their cancer experiences and put them together for a book. Anyway, so she e-mailed me and asked if I would like to be one of the survivors in the book, which is so far nameless. I of course said Yes. We've talked on the phone, and it sounds like such a fantastic idea. The book is not just of the survivors' stories, but it also contains letters and pictures and such. I am so flattered to be a part of this and so excited that she is writing it. There are no other books out there that highlight specifically young-adult survivors, that tell their stories in their own words. I mean, really, it would have been a huge help ten months ago to know about others who were going through the same thing. So I am excited, and it is going to be great.

Part Two: I was contacted by the dean of the medical school here at BU, and, long story short, I will be speaking to pretty much all of the first-year medical students at the end of October. I guess I'm pretty good at expressing myself, and people think that's cool? Anyway, I will be talking about what it was like when I was first diagnosed, how the doctors treated me, my reaction, etc. And did I mention it will be in front of masses of first-year med students? Yes, I think I did. Pretty sweet. I guess if I ever had any lingering fear of public speaking, I had better eliminate it quickly.

So here's the thing about all this attention I am receiving: It's not that I don't necessarily want it, but I don't want it just for the sake of getting attention. I want to be able to make a difference, whether by helping increase empathy for future doctors, or by helping another twenty year-old girl just diagnosed with cancer get through the hard parts. I don't want my fifteen minutes of cancer-fame; I want to try and do something lasting. I am not sure yet how to translate all this into a "cause" though. Maybe start something at BU for survivors; I have heard from a couple, which is amazing. Maybe start a Gilda's Club or a Boston young-adult group, or something. I'm not sure. I do know, however, that now it is up to me to take this ball and run with it. Anyway. So that's been my week. Like I said, it has been crazy. I hope your week was as awesome, and I hope the weekend goes well as well. Oh yeah, still no chemo. Next Wednesday, for sure. Alright, that's all (haha, even though there's always more.) Pax.

Guess What.....

In ONE HOUR AND FORTY MINUTES I will be 21. I will be 21 in Boston! I think it's safe to say that I still don't fully believe it. I feel great. I've been walking all over the place, and my cold is mostly gone. Also, there was a super cool profile of me on BU Today today. There are pictures and sounds and words and everything. So if you've ever wondered what I sound like, or if you would like to hear my voice regurgitating, in shortened form, much of what I have said on the b-log, check THIS out! I am impressed; it is pretty cool. I am interested to see if more people recognize me on campus now. I'm sort of hard to miss, what with this whole Rocking haircut, but we'll see.

My day begins tomorrow at 5 am, when I wake up for my 6-10 shift at the Proshop. I am excited. It's going to be a good day. I hope your day is as good as mine. Happy thoughts all around. Peace. :)

Sunday is a day of eating.

I usually have something like three breakfasts on Sunday and snack the rest of the day. I think it is because on the days I don't do much, I eat. (Worth noting is that my idea of a breakfast is a bagel or bowl of cereal.)

Another week has ended, another begun. Today is the last day of September, and tomorrow is the first day of October, which means that I have been in Boston for one month now. I still haven't started my chemo, but I am hoping I will this coming week. It has certainly been a crazy past four weeks. It seems that whenever my lifestyle changes, it does so drastically and with no forewarning. December 2006, I went, in one week, from being a sleep-deprived college student to an overwhelmed hospital patient with tubes sticking out of me. One month ago, in three days, I went from pretty much not doing anything at all, aside from going to clinics, to having to take a deep breath and dive back into the crazy, active world of college. There was no transition period, although I don't know how there could have been. Now, after a month, I feel like I'm finally getting settled. I made a few bad decisions the past four weeks (house parties are a bad idea for those of us who aren't used to 200 people stuffed together, oozing beer). I am still not fully confident in my role as a college student, but I am in a much better place than I was when I first got here. I also have lots of blood, which is, you know, awesome. Oh, and my hair is growing back like crazy. So life is pretty good, especially now that I've stopped worrying so much about what I should be doing. I should be doing my homework, but aside from that, I am mostly just relaxed.

I can't believe it's almost October. Two days and I will be 21. I will be spending the day with my friends, and who believed, even a few months ago, that that would happen? Well, I always knew I'd be back, but it's nice to be right. So, have a good week everyone, because I sure will. And even if I start chemo on Thursday, it will still be a good week because then I will be one week closer to being finished with treatment. Limbo isn't so much fun. Alright, Peace.